As i sit here and ponder over the last few weeks of my life, I can’t help but be introspective over my whole life. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m brutally honest, oftentimes to my detriment. My heart is heavy right now, for a myriad of things. But mainly over the loss of a couple of friendships. In order for this to make sense, I have to share my past. Growing up in Lancaster, Texas was quite an experience! I was always different as a child, not particularly “alpha-male”. I was never really into sports (except soccer, a sport I still love). My daddy was as alpha as they come. He was so suave and had this swagger that was so unique to him and I haven’t seen it since his untimely passing. I often struggled as a child because I didn’t “have it”. It being my father’s alpha swag. Instead of watching sports with him, I’d rather watch MTV, literally all day until they played a Michael or Janet Jackson video. I was so enamored with the Jacksons (still am) and I wanted to be an entertainer. I could dance act even sing a little. When I saw Control by Janet I said this is what I want to do!!! I remember I had to be all of 6 years old and I was so excited and I ran to tell my daddy I wanted to be a dancer. He was pulling out the driveway and as I ran up to the car with excitement and anticipation my dad’s impeccable smile beamed, but that smile quickly disappeared when I told him I wanted to dance. “Son boys don’t dance that’s for girls. You’re not a girl are you?” he exclaimed. I never knew what the feeling of rejection was until that moment. In my mind that seemed to be the start of an interesting life. I’ve never talked about it publicly, but I was bullied growing up. Almost on a weekly basis I was called: faggot, punk, sissy or whatever emasculating terminology my peers could come up with. I was smart and was in the gifted and talented program so naturally i became friends with those students, who in my time, were mostly girls. The boys rejected me because I was different and I wasn’t into sports. But, I always had good taste in women!!! lol. Although the love wasn’t reciprocated. I could tell more but that’s for another time. Fast forward to my early 20’s as you can imagine, I was an emotional and mental mess. It’s only God’s mercy that I was still here and truthfully that’s what kept me going in life; knowing I had a purpose. My escapism from the pain I endured in my youth was music. I wanted so bad to be famous and work in the entertainment to offset the rejection I felt from my Daddy and my peers growing up. I had these new friends and some from college. I had a girlfriend at the time Lauren. I didn’t really appreciate her nor was I emotionally mature to be with her. But she said something to me that at the time, I couldn’t believe but today rings true. She said “Pervis those are not your friends.” “You are more of a friend to them than they are to you” she continued. Boy did that sting!!! I quickly dismissed her. What was she talking about? My friends loved me and accepted me for who I was. Again, what was she talking about? In my mind I thought they were my friends cause they accepted me and didn’t talk about me (so I thought). I’m 28 and had no friends in New York. I spent the nights crying in loneliness pleading with God to show up in my life. I was reeling from my past which I never fully addressed. The truth was I was violated emotionally, spiritually and physically. I pleaded with Jesus for help. He answered slowly he started to put some wonderful Men of God in my life. One in particular was quite special. This person knew my journey and helped me see things in myself that was attracting mistreatment from others. I never had a brother before. (My younger brother and I are six years apart. I love him dearly) So naturally in the first years of our friendship was dysfunctional mainly on my part. This person got the brunt of the pain that the others caused and I was afraid to speak up because of fear of losing those relationships. I truly became a new person because of God using this person in my life. I was always a dreamer but had yet to accomplish anything in life. (at least in my mind) But I always generous to my friends going above and beyond the call of duty. Yet I was empty inside. This person poured into me. For the first time someone said I can see you become whatever you want in life. I think sometimes in life, we look down on dreamers or maybe just maybe we are afraid to dream ourselves. Either way we look down on dreamers. For me being a dreamer, my friends were comfortable with me staying a dreamer. This person saw me as the Pervis I am today. In fact, he was the person who suggested I write a book. So today he and several other friends whom I loved and still love are no longer in my life. My battle has been did I do something wrong? It has caused me to question my worthiness. Yesterday, Ahmed, a wonderful man of God saw me at church and he said to me “Pervis write. That’s what you do. Write;” He saw the tears well up in my eyes and he said ” Don’t slouch walk upright, this is not going to defeat you.” So as Walter Hawkins’ Be Grateful blares through my earphones, I’m doing just that writing. I’m a life coach, inspirational speaker, author and all that stuff, but I’m first a broken human being and if it wasn’t for Jesus I couldn’t have withstood the challenges of life. In fact, its these experiences that make me more of a dynamic speaker and coach. To whoever reads this, know this is only a snapshot. More to come….
Great day to you! February is the shortest month of the year, but it abounds in activity. From awards shows to Fashion Week to the amazing accomplishments made by African Americans, February is a time of celebration. But there’s one day that I must highlight specially, a day that cannot be overlooked: Valentine’s Day! This is a special day where we gather to celebrate love and lavish our affections on our significant others, spending millions on flowers, candy and teddy bears. While this is a wonderful gesture, I want to challenge you today with this principle: “Love was created by Design, therefore itmust displayed at all times.” In other words, yes celebrate Valentine’s Day, but go a little further and create as many Valentine’s Day moments as possible. I want to share with you a real life example of this principle..
A week and half ago I was at Walgreens buying toiletries, and while I was waiting in line a young man about 18 years old was standing behind me. I noticed he had a teddy bear, a card and some candy in his possession. He had this big smile on his face; it was contagious. I turned and asked him “So is it your girl’s birthday?” he replied “No.” with a smile. I probed further “Oh you guys are making up?” “No sir” he said, still smiling. While I’m talking to him a lady comes behind him in line and joins the conversation. “Oh so you’re getting your Valentine’s gift early? That’s very smart of you.” He smiled “No that’s not it either!” So she and I looked at him to tell us what this gift was for. He gushed “I got this just to show my girl how much I love her. I can’t repay her fully for how she’s loved me through some rough times in my life. I just want to show her as often as I can that she means so much to me.” I smiled and thought this young man gets it. He didn’t have much, but he desired to show his girlfriend that she mattered to him, and that day had little significance in his decision.
Whether you have a Valentine or not is not important, but what is important is that you know that love is meant to be continuous, powerful and on display at all times. Have a great Day!
Pervis Taylor III
For me Christmas is all about celebration. We sing “Joy to the world the Lord has come, Let earth receive her King…” The essential essence of Christmas is to celebrate and commemorate the joy of us receiving our Savior. I think along the way we got caught up in the commercialism of this holiday. Seldom do we remember that this is supposed to be a time to party. If you read the Bible and/or study early civilization, you will find that all throughout that time they partied. Every occasion was a reason to be festive and enjoy the gift of life.
To take it a step further, when was the last time you truly celebrated what Christmas means? When was the last time you celebrated life? When was the last time you celebrated you? Being transparent, I struggle greatly with celebration. I think for me, the only occasion to celebrate, is during the huge milestones of life. That’s a wrong mindset to have. We are to celebrate at all times. (This is not a license to go clubbing every night! Balance is the key to life.) I was speaking to a friend of mine, and I was venting over some present circumstance that I wasn’t pleased with. His reply pierced me. He said “But P, do you realize how far you’ve come. Look at yourself compared to last year. Look how much has happened. You need to celebrate!” I sat in silence for a minute. I thought to myself “He’s right.” I came home and turned on Madonna’s Holiday and jumped around, sang and reflected over my life and how far I’ve come. I implore you to do the same. As Christmas is rapidly approaching, and we spend time with our friends and family make it a point to party. Dance like there’s no tomorrow and love someone as if you getting paid big bucks to do so (earn every penny). The biggest benefit of celebration, is that leads us to the ultimate place of joy: gratitude. As with everything we are supposed to be grateful at all times. Therefore, we must celebrate at all times! Enjoy and have a Merry Christmas.
From Pervis Taylor III, Life Coach and Author of the book Pervis Principles Volume One.
Like most of us, I absolutely love Christmas. It’s a time and season to celebrate the birth of Jesus, to spend time with your families and to put aside our differences to unite for a moment of peace. Moreover, Christmas is also a time of unparalleled giving. Millions of people around the world benefit from the kindness of complete strangers. It almost seems as if it’s innate within us to move and operate in the Spirit of giving. The word spirit is what I find challenging. Regardless of your personal beliefs or lack there of, we all can agree that a spirit is a perpetual, eternal and ceaseless being. Which leads me to this question: is that spirit only alive during the Thanksgiving and Christmas Holidays? Today I challenge you with this principle: Giving is not a season or a moment but it is a lifestyle.
Giving is tempered by the condition of your heart. Therefore, you must condition yourselves to lead lives of giving by design. You were given as a gift to your parents, the world, friends, families and all those whom you will make an impact on. When you wrap your mind around that amazing fact, giving becomes second nature to you. I want to be clear that I’m not talking only about finances. Finances merely scratch the surface of true giving and believe it or not, somethings are more valuable than money. When was the last time you gave your full self to someone? Do you mentor? Do you encourage? Do you give hope? Do you smile and give hugs?
I recently had an opportunity to volunteer and mentor at Steve Harvey’s Mentoring Weekend for young men. I was blessed to be in the presence of some extremely successful men, many of whom I’m sure you’re familiar with. One invaluable lesson I took away from that experience was that the boys didn’t care as much about who these men were, but rather if these men were going to give of their time with them. In that moment I realized that your time is a gift to someone. So as Christmas approaches, I want you to continue to give to your churches, and charity organizations. However, there will still be needs to be met in January, February and March and so forth. So in true spirit, let us begin without ceasing, conditioning our hearts today so we can be prepared to give tomorrow. Have a Merry Christmas!!!
From Pervis Taylor III, author of the book, Pervis Principles Volume One: A Daily Meditation Mini Book. Available now at PervisTaylor.com and Amazon.com
I recently had a birthday this past Sunday and it was amazing! One thing that stood out to me was how reflective I was over the year. I was amazed at how much growth took place within me. I definitely saw lots to improve, but I also was surprised at just how far I’d come in life. I think as you get older birthdays become more introspective, rather than celebrations. The book of life consists of 3 chapters! I just entered chapter 2 and I want to make sure that I’m creating a legacy of consistent personal development and spiritual development. Anyhow this is a short post.
I also wanted to mention the kind words that people left on my Facebook wall. I was on the verge of tears at some of things that people said. I had no idea some felt such great things towards me. I am truly humbled and moreover, grateful to be used. A daily prayer of mine is to be able to meet a need of another. Each day as that prayer gets answered I feel so “purposed” and inspired. All I want to do with Pervis Principles is to leave a mark of my reflections and hope that someone gets inspired to do the same. Have a wonderful day guys!
Grace and Peace,
This week’s song for the soundtrack to get you through the storm, is a song that I always remember hearing around the house as a child. Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis (Janet Jackson and Mary J. Blige) are my all time favorite producers and in the early 90’s they formed the group Sounds of Blackness. Their first single released “Optimistic”, is a song that speaks to my heart. It summons the courage to dream and to seek our goals in spite of the challenges that life brings. It’s sung with passion and conviction. It surely will inspire you to keep your head to the sky! Enjoy: